Art by Xermanico
The Chronicles of Langdon P. Rutherford - Part 1
From the journal of Dr. Langdon P. Rutherford, Esq.
March 25, 1878
The story I am about to impart, dear reader, is not one of fiction. If only it were. Rather, it concerns a period of my life some years ago when, as a young man, I was caught up in an affair that many would say defies reasonable explanation. On reflection I sometimes even find myself in disbelief, and yet I am reminded daily of its veracity by the lingering scars from which my body still suffers. I can only offer my words as evidence, and express a desire that your charitable nature will place trust in my character as a gentleman, and as a man of science not prone to the vagaries of fanciful thought.
Part 1 - Most Unusual Circumstances
It was on the night of August 11, 1853 that the mysterious package arrived. A boy of no more than twelve stood upon my doorstep, a wooden box held in both hands. The young lad appeared eager to rid himself of his possession.
“Special delivery, sir.” His voice low, he spoke in
The Chronicles of Langdon P. Rutherford - Part 2
Part 2 - A Veil is Lifted
I fell to one knee, head bowed with arms extended to either side, and wings tucked back, exposing my neck to this mighty king. My life was his to take.
Slowly, his steps grew nearer, echoing in solid claps against the marble walls of this entrance to the great hall.
My flight had taken me to an abandoned estate on the outskirts of the city, a place unfamiliar to me, and yet I seemed to traverse its rooms and corridors as if recalling things long forgotten. I now knelt at one end of a large room resplendent with tapestries which covered entire walls, displaying scenes of conquest and savagery across the millennia as civilizations rose and fell, each subdued by the superior might of the next.
Pulled by a voice of infinite strength which carried an irresistible command, I drew up before him with head still lowered and arms spread wide in supplication.
Show not humility, but rather reveal to me faith without boundary, obedience with no end.
The Chronicles of Langdon P. Rutherford - Part 3
Part 3 To Seek Retribution
For an indeterminate time I wandered the streets. The glare of the streetlamps burned harshly, and shadows moved with menace as obscure recollections of a place of sanctuary and comfort grew clearer. My clothing was plain but clean, if somewhat tattered, and no trace remained of my previous bodily deformity. The occasional passerby paid little heed to my meandering, no doubt believing me a tramp without purposeful destination. In slow gradations I somehow made my way along familiar routes, the lunar light again aiding my path as it had only a few hours ago. A few hours! A lifetime had seemingly passed since I was torn from all commonplace realities.
At last I returned to my residence, shortly before the rise of the morning sun. I entered the dining area, and the view of that scene produced a paroxysm of stinging visions from a night of dreadful madness. I was aghast to find that there was no sign of either the box or the attire I had ripped from my bod
By the way:
"And the vile? What was held within?"
You might want to amend it to "vial". There's a difference, but I'm sure you know that and it was an accident.
Cool! Reminds me a bit of Edgar Rice Burroughs and Edgar Allan Poe mixed together! I love both of those Edgars!
Not really crazy about the PDF format; takes too long to show up on my screen. But it's not a big deal.
Congrats on the DD, my friend!!!
Great job, Mitch!
- Congrats on the DD!
Have a nice day!
You build suspense in a very good manner, and I want to elaborate on this.
Many writers (Myself included) sometimes blow small things out of proportion to create a sort of cliffhanger, because we aim to keep the reader hooked. Now, this is a bad thing because you can't just go making mountains out of mole hills and hope that people find that interesting. It reads too artificial, it isn't spontaneous. You, on the other hand, seem to create an atmosphere of suspense very naturally and without awkward twists. Your style is just the right combination of spontaneous and planned out, and I can tell you have an idea that you follow as you write. I can also tell that you have a healthy attitude about your writing. This is a quality in literature that's sincere, your work is naturally beautiful rather than surgically modified, so to speak. That's what makes me want to read more and more of it.
As for the PDF format, along with the artwork and my previous comments, it made me realize that I should seriously advise you to attempt and get this published once it's completed. I mean, the story is brilliant and the form is flawless, why not try to expand your audience in that way?